Things change...

...and so do people.

And sometimes these changes make people and things look less attractive to me.
Or maybe they never did change and things just look different when I have contacts on. I don't know. It could be either. It could be anything.

I find myself, again, at odds with what people hope I feel and how I think. It's not like I have anything tangible to be upset about. I feel like my brain is against me. For the past week, I've been in a creative funk. Not only that, I find myself afraid to move forward. Everything just seems harder when you can't see progress.
Maybe I stare at things too long or too often. Maybe I have to analyze every detail and get frustrated when I see things barely budge an inch. And quite possibly, I am just not happy that the things that I do want to change, the things I do want to happen, don't happen instantaneously.

Perhaps it is the curse of technology that I don't have the patience to wait on success. After reading textbook after textbook of media critiques and web design basics, I feel stupider than ever. I feel under-qualified and overwhelmed. Why did I ever think I do this? I don't have the skills or the talent to pull something like this off. I'm not even a good journalist. Why would I ever think I could produce my own show? Fall is almost here.